How Do I Tell My IT Security Manager To Stop Crying Wolf?

[Root] Access is an advice column for questions about IT issues, career moves, and workplace concerns.

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Dear [Root] Access,

I hope this letter finds you enjoying the calm before the holiday storm! As the season of turkey, family gatherings, and football draws nigh, I find myself in a bit of a pickle.

I’m part of a small IT security team, and one challenge we have is our manager’s tendency to sound the alarm at the first sign of trouble. He often jumps to the conclusion that a security incident is underway. At the slightest sign of something off, he’ll order us to scramble to our battle stations—and often at the most inconvenient times, like late at night or during the weekend. Yet, about 98% of the time, these alarms turn out to be false or minor issues we could have addressed without the anxious rush. 

My manager is constantly monitoring the systems. In the past few months alone, he has called me after midnight and told me to hurry into the office to check on a concern. I’ve lost count of how many weekends have been disrupted by his urgent calls for action. Upper management seems to endorse this philosophy of “better safe than sorry,” but it feels excessive, as though we’re trapped in a loop of unnecessary panic.

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While my manager worries about the latest software vulnerabilities, I worry about Thanksgiving. I’m hosting a long-awaited family gathering with relatives I haven’t seen in years, and spending quality time with them means the world to me. But the thought of my manager crying havoc just as I sit down to this special dinner fills me with dread.

How can I express my concerns to my manager without dismissing his worries or our duty as security pros? Is there a way I can help him temper his hyper-vigilance? I don't want to live on the razor-thin edge of constant emergencies. I want to enjoy the holidays peacefully.

—Seeking Peace Amid Constant Alarm Bells

Dear Seeking Peace Amid Constant Alarm Bells,

I assume you’re compensated neither as a 24/7 on-call pro nor a therapist. Some IT security managers will enter the holiday season knowing they will balance work and leisure. In your case, it sounds like your boss is setting your boundaries for you. 

Because of your past loyalty—even during your sleeping hours—your manager likely expects you to answer his calls no matter the circumstance. Who needs time with loved ones, anyway? Although it’s his responsibility as a manager to set reasonable work expectations, it’s now your responsibility to reset your boundaries. 

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You’ll want to answer a few questions for yourself before the holiday season begins:

1. What is your organization’s time off and holiday policy? Specifically, what are they paying you for and what are you contractually obligated to do? If it’s not in your remit to answer these late-night or weekend calls, it’s not your responsibility and becomes an issue for HR to clean up. 

2. How can you decrease the likelihood of a perceived IT emergency before signing off for the season? Which systems can you automate? What preemptive information could you share with your boss to prevent an unwelcome call in the first place? A clear, detailed, documented out-of-office plan reduces ambiguity and uncertainty, easing your boss’s anxiety.

3. If you are willing to answer your boss’ calls during your time off, when will you check your phone/email? You can use this as a negotiating point if your manager asks for coverage when you tell him you’ll be unavailable.

4. If you get a call during your Thanksgiving gathering, how will you hold yourself accountable for prioritizing family time and rest? A plan to resist work temptation—like turning your phone off and telling your family you won’t check it—can increase your likelihood of success.

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Then, have a conversation with your manager. Share that you’ll be unavailable during the holidays, including for emergency calls. If he has questions, walk him through the out-of-office plan.

We all deserve a holiday. Unplug from your office and reconnect with your family. You’ll be thankful for it.

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